Those moving words from Tracy Martin, the father of Trayvon, sum up what has made this case so moving and so powerful.

It took a national effort, a national movement, to get this case the attention it deserved.  When local authorities could not see beyond George Zimmerman’s basic claim to use deadly force under the state’s Stand Your Ground law, the governor appointed a Special Prosecutor in the case. As Prosecutor Angela Corey took the podium to announce the charges brought against Zimmerman, it became clear the days of glossing over this crime are over. The Civil Rights struggle has shown us decade after decade, marches and rallies and speeches do make a different.

The movement inspired many who were new to protests. Young people of all backgrounds started pulling their hoodies over the heads to show how ludicrous it is to assert that a hoodie by its very nature is the uniform of a criminal.

Adults who didn’t usually “get involved” reacted on a personal level, with that heavy heart of a parent, or just someone who cares about other people’s children. Vinnie Politan, a commentator on CNN’s sister station HLN, noted he was shocked at social media attacks on him as part of the “liberal media” when he said Trayvon did nothing wrong. “I’m a law and order guy,” he shot back. “I reacted to this as a story about someone’s kid like it was my own.”

In early April, I spent some time with my 30-year-old son, who looks younger. It was a surprisingly cold day after a warm spell.  He nonchalantly pulled his hood up as we walked around town, and kept it on in and out of stores; not making a statement, just keeping himself warm. But I saw the statement.

Of course, underneath that hoodie was my son’s white face, so it would never be the same. It took the President to make that crystal clear. No one could articulate the racism that cannot be separated from this case better than President Obama, “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

The trial will illuminate issues far more than Zimmerman’s guilt or innocence. Racial profiling is on trial. The U.S. Senate isn’t waiting, as the Judiciary Committee is holding hearings on the issue on April 17. Race is, and should be on the table as we examine this case.

And the “Stand Your Ground” laws, now in some 30 states in various forms, are on trial.  As the Washington Post recently reported, those laws coincide with a jump in justifiable homicide cases.  New York City Michael Bloomberg charges that these laws take away rights that are basic to the American way of life, noting that even soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan must meet a higher standard for taking deadly action against someone. “There’s no civilized society that I know, no democracy, that has these kinds of laws. Only in America where we have more guns than people.”

As the national movement focused attention on Trayvon Martin’s death, two individuals were thrust into the spotlight to speak for Trayvon – his parents. Their voices are the other part of what has make this such a compelling event. Their voices are heard above the speeches and the commentaries, because they speak with authenticity and raw emotion. They been a source of light throughout the entire process, standing up for the rights of Trayvon and themselves, wanting no part of violence or revenge. They wanted George Zimmerman brought to trial, and they now want a fair trial.

“I just want to speak from my heart,” said Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon’s mother, after Zimmerman’s arrest. “A heart has no color. It’s not white. It’s not black. It’s red. I just want to say ‘thank you’ from my heart to your heart.”

I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet Trayvon. With these remarkable parents, he must have been quite a young man. We’re now on a journey together with his family to make sure this trial is fair. And collectively we can serve Trayvon’s legacy best by going beyond the trail to bring to light important issues that demand public scrutiny.

It’s hard to dispute the research that shows that a diverse campus is better both academically and socially for all the students. In classrooms, students learn to think deeper, question more, and move beyond simplistic assumptions when they are challenged by peers with different life experiences and different perspectives. Students of all backgrounds become better problem solvers. It only makes sense – if you are surrounded by people who aren’t limited by a common frame of reference, you see multiple ways to solve problems. There isn’t just one right answer to a complex problem.

On a social level, students aren’t just learning how to “celebrate” diversity on a superficial level of clothes and food. They learn to dialogue about critical issues, seeing nuances, not just polarizing extremes. They know what it takes to collaborate with people who act different, who think different than they do. They learn to be comfortable not just with those who are like them; but they develop a comfort with difference because they recognize that is when they are most vibrant.

Do colleges look beyond grades as they decide on who to admit? Of course they do. Does the band need some clarinets? Lucky Amelia for playing clarinet in the State Band. Are there lots of applicants from New Jersey, but few from South Dakota? For a college that touts having students from all over the country, the qualified applicant from SD looks real good. Of course there are the spots for the legacy students, even if their grades aren’t up to dad’s or mom’s. And let’s not even go into preferences shown for someone with a great free throw or a record-breaking catch on the football field.

So where are the high-profile court cases about the student who didn’t get accepted because the spot was filled by an athlete? That’s just something we accept because there is a holistic view of what benefits the entire university. College athlete = winning teams = alumni donations and more applicants. Don’t whine if you don’t get in on grades alone because “everybody wins” when the team wins.

So why should race and ethnicity be out of the picture for a college that understands the value of a diverse campus? Why should colleges have to defend themselves from creating a diverse environment that benefits every student every day?

It is not in the interest of our nation to force colleges to take a step backward and deprive their students of the lessons that can only be learned in a diverse setting. Without the benefit of diversity in their educational environment, students will be ill-prepared for the diverse workplaces that await them, particularly as our economy increases in global interconnections. Most important, do we want to deprive them the lessons of appreciation, respecting, and learning from a broad spectrum of fellow students? Let’s hope the justices can see this is an issue impacting every student, and our nation as a whole.

When we had an opportunity to chat afterwards, I learned that is just part of his story. He started the trash hauling business “to give some young men good jobs.” So he’s a mentor in addition to being an entrepreneur. Then he told me that he and his wife do training on writing clear documents for the Federal government. Then he mentioned that he also has written and published science fiction. Whoa. How much farther from my initial assumptions about his work would he take me — once we spent time learning about each other.

I also talked with a business leader who is a respected trainer. I learned that his father was the youngest of eight and his mother the youngest of 22. Can you imagine his family reunions! That is a piece of his personal culture that you would not know just by looking at him. His lens for viewing the world is very different than someone who was an only child with few relatives. Yet people rarely know that aspect of his personal story. When we talked about the importance of moving beyond assumptions, he said, “You are preaching to the choir. People make lots of assumptions about me based solely on what I look like” — a tall African-American man.

To really understand someone — their experiences, their skills, their perspectives — we need to move beyond snap judgments and assumptions. Otherwise, we lose out on the valuable connections we can make and the wisdom they can share. We learn a fraction of the lessons we could.

We don’t know what sparks a disturbed mind to take a particular destructive action. But we do know that what people say and how they say it creates an environment, and that environment impacts what others say and do. We don’t have to get into politics to see that.

A teacher told me that she finds her recent Kindergarten and first grade children more aggressive, more rude than she’s seen in years of teaching. “They are watching the adults around them,” she said. The television is filled with images of angry people yelling at each other. And it’s not just the news. The level of angry yelling on “family” shows is far greater than it used to be. Just turn on the old reruns on TVLand and it becomes crystal clear.

But our children don’t need to turn to TV, movies, or even video games to get a taste of adults out of control. The teacher described a father at a school basketball game yelling at the referee over a particular call. “If the children see the adults yelling at an authority figure, then they think that’s appropriate,”

Another teacher told me about a 4^th grade student who had an “assassination list.” Did he know what that meant? Absolutely. He had pictures of knives and guns on his paper. And why were they on his list? Because, “They told me I wasn’t the line leader and I needed to go back. I wasn’t the line leader, but I still didn’t like it.” The message adults today send: You don’t like a message, threaten the messenger.

A few years ago, I was part of an Interfaith dialogue of Muslims and Jews, organized by a Muslim friend and my husband and me. Over the months, the 15 of us grew to become friends. We learned how many ways we are similar, both historically and as members of the same community. But after about a year, we began talking about world events and the dialogue broke down. Feelings became raw over statements made by one side or the other, often taken out of context. In talking about it with my Muslim friend, we both realized what had happened. There were people in the group who had joined solely to convince others that they were right, that their stories were more valid. At that moment I realized that dialogue only works if both sides come to learn, not teach.

We all need to take responsibility for our actions, including the words we use. If we create a hostile environment where no one with a different perspective feels comfortable speaking, then we all lose, whether in our homes, our schools, or our workplaces. We become closed-down and one-dimensional. And we model for children that there is only one “right way” and that’s my way. And that is a disservice to our children and our future.

There are ways to connect with the absent parents, and they are essential if we are serious about education reform. Parents of every background have dreams for their child and want that child to succeed in school. Sometimes they never have a chance to voice those dreams, with the constant stream of information from school telling them what to do.

Strategic tips to engage disconnected parents:

• Assume every parent cares about their child’s education.Schools should not make assumptions about parents just because they aren’t visible. Many families believe it is their job to support education at home, but the teacher’s job at school. They show respect by not interfering with the teacher’s work. Sometimes parents are intimidated to talk to a teacher they didn’t have a good education themselves or they found school a place of negative experiences. For immigrants, expectations of American schools can be confusing. Many immigrants are shocked to learn that American schools expect them to be involved!
• Respect the strengths of family members and engage them as partners. The goal of engaging families is to build a partnership to support the students and the school itself. Families of diverse backgrounds bring many strengths that are often overlooked. Think of the organization and resiliency of an immigrant family who made the challenging journey to the United States… or the perseverance of a parent who could not attend college but works long hours to assure his child will have that chance… or the commitment of a grandmother who is determined that her grandchildren will understand the value of hard work by doing chores at home. When you learn about and respect these strengths, you understand that communication with diverse families should be two-way, as family members have many lessons to teach as well as learn.
• Go beyond traditional programs for family involvement Back-to-school nights and parent meetings work for some families, but others find them overwhelming or intimidating. Schools should look for non-threatening ways to encourage parent involvement: a classroom celebration of children’s writing where family members accompany their child to class; a breakfast with their child before work; a chance to meet with other families from their culture. Invitations sent out in multiple ways is critical, including personal notes home with the child and follow-up phone calls – the more personal, the better. A community leader who is known and respected by school families can be a great ally in connecting with diverse families.
• Get out of the school Some families find it intimidating to just walk through the school doors. To connect with families in a more comfortable setting, schools can hold meetings in community rooms, libraries, or religious institutions in the neighborhood.Sometimes a lunchroom in a local factory is a great place to connect with parents who can’t leave work.
• Support families so they can support their students Parents play a vital role as mentors, teachers, supporters, encouragers for their children. Schools can support families in these roles by providing training on parenting issues (e.g., workshops on child behavior or disciplining adolescents), as well as education issues (family literacy or math nights where parents and children learn together). Leadership development training targeted to those parents who are not yet empowered to be involved can create a new generation of diverse parent leaders.

• Collaborate with involved families As schools look for innovative ways to reach families, success can’t be judged by the number of families who initially respond. Build on the outreach by collaborating with new families who do bcome involved. Give them the opportunity to do substantive work alongside long-active parents. When family leaders in the school represent the diversity of the community, family engagement across the board will snowball.

Many parents remain disconnected from schools because they don’t feel welcome or valued at school. When schools look for innovative ways to help families understand their role at school and build true two-way partnerships, authentic education reform takes place.

Research shows that academic achievement increases when students and their families feel connected to school. At the foundation of this reform is creating an atmosphere where every student feels valued.

The key is to recognize the culture of each student. Everyone has a culture – where we were born, where we grew up, who raised us, our ethnic background, our religion, our home language, our family structure, and more. Students feel connected to the school when they can be authentic and they don’t have to hide their culture to fit in.

Strategic tips for educators:

• Learn to pronounce all student’s names. What’s in a name? A person’s history and identity. Schools shouldn’t hand out nicknames just because the name is hard to pronounce. And no more,”Call me Mrs. K.” Teachers should model the behavior by expecting students to learn their names, as well.
• Rejoice in different accents.It’s not just about accents from other countries. Reports show a disturbing lack of respect for any accent that is”different,” like reports of a child from Boston being ridiculed for his pronunciation in a class in Ohio or the southern drawl of a child from Alabama laughed at – by the teacher – in a Maryland school.
• Let students see themselves in the classroom. A photo of each child should be posted around the room with the student’s personal writing. The students can draw pictures of themselves, encouraged to express their own individuality. Multicultural literature around the room should reflect the many faces in the broader community. Through class assignments, students can write autobiographies that include interviewing relatives and family friends. The assignments can be more sophisticated as students get older, using poetry or drama as vehicles for bringing their lives into the classroom.
• Create an opportunity for students to share what is important to them. Daily classroom meetings, where students share their ideas, thoughts, and experiences in a safe place, can build a true community. With guidance from the teacher, students learn the important skills of active listening and problem-solving together.

Not only should teachers recognize the culture of their students, they need to understand their own culture and how this impacts the way they interact with students and families. Did the teacher come from a family where children were supposed to be soft-spoken and only answer when spoken to? Then the creative boy who was encouraged to voice his new ideas at the family dinner table might appear to be disrepectful to the teacher. Does the teacher believe that every student should look her in the eye when she’s talking. Then she may misunderstand a student who was taught to look down as a way to show respect to an adult.

Education reform includes creating schools where every student believes he or she is an valued part of that school. To value the student, teachers need to understand culture — their own and their students — and make sure each culture is valued.

            That changed as a young adult. The first time I stepped into a large public library – I know it is trite – but I absolutely felt like a kid in a candy store.  And truthfully, I still feel that way. I LOVE libraries. I still look around and think, “Really? I can pick from anything here, and it’s all free!”

            Perhaps that’s why I am so thrilled – not happy, not excited, but thrilled – to be creating a library for students at A.V. Bukani Primary School in Addo, South Africa. My husband and I, with lots of help, just sent a shipment of 25,000 donated books to support the education of the wonderful students at the school.  We are about to make our third volunteer trip to work with the dedicated teachers there, sharing research-based strategies to increase literacy. We’ve also been working with the families, an integral part of education.

            On our first trip to this township school in August 2008, we were shaken by the lack of materials – from students writing with pencil stubs to inadequate workbooks that were basically the only books the students had. My husband used some quality picture books we had brought with us to demonstrate read-alouds. After seeing the students’ eyes light up when he read “Swimmy” by Leo Lionni, one of the teachers grabbed his arm and asked, “Are there more books like this?!”  We knew we had to return one day with many, many more books.

            The following year as we finished our second visit, Principal Thambo said it is time to build a library. We agreed. Although shipping is expensive, we had been in touch with an old high school friend who said he could help us with discounted shipping.  We knew with our many contacts back in the DC area that we could collect hundreds of books for this school. We also knew that, to be used effectively, these books could not just be boxed and shipped. They had to be sorted and labeled. Thus began our journey this year of collecting, organizing and labeling, not hundreds of books, but 25,000 quality children’s books. It was a labor of love for us and the many, many volunteers who worked with us, as well as the donors who helped with shipping expenses.  In mid-July, the books began their journey in a shipping container that will be fitted with doors and windows and will become the library itself.

            And so my love of libraries has come full circle. In early August, I will watch the shipping container filled with books we packed be trucked into the township and placed on the foundation built by the community.  I will watch as community volunteers help unload and open the boxes and boxes of books.  And I will watch as the students get to not only look at these wonderful books, but choose books and take them home. And the next day, they can choose another one. Does life get any better than that!

            I truly feel like Willy Wonka opening up the candy store to the 1,000 children of this school. They’ll discover Ezra Jack Keats, Eric Carle, Beverly Cleary, Dr. Seuss, and many other wonderful authors and illustrators. And once they taste this delicious stuff, I know they’ll be back for more. In my heart I know these books will change lives for decades to come, and I am so honored to play a part in this. More on our South African blog www.KuglersinSouthAfrica.blogspot.com

Made me think about how many times people feel uncomfortable, feel like outsiders, because they don’t have the right words or act the right way. Sometimes they don’t know what is expected of them. Sometimes they act they way they were taught assuming that is appropriate. But the big question is who decides what is right?

We each have a culture, a combination of our family’s history and traditions, the place we grew up, our religion, our family structure, our gender, and everything else that impacts who we are. In a classroom, if a student does something that might be appropriate for her culture, but isn’t what the teacher thinks is right based on her own culture, the student may be branded as an outsider – someone who doesn’t fit in. Maybe the student stands a little too close to the teacher whose own comfort zone requires people to keep their distance. “I’m not a ‘touch-er’,” a colleague recently said to me. I wondered if I had broken her cultural rules without thinking since I come from a family of huggers and hand-grabbers.

Maybe a parent has been at a school meeting and loudly asserted her point. Other parents whisper behind her back, “She doesn’t need to yell.” The mom is branded as an outsider, someone who doesn’t follow the rules. Yet in her culture, if you are engaged, you raise your voice and stand your ground. To her, yelling is something completely different.

One of the challenges of good communication is understanding that your own way of communicating – your words, your voice, your body language – is not necessarily the right way. There are other ways of communicating which may also be appropriate, even if they aren’t your way. Is a parent not paying attention because she doesn’t become part of a conversation, or was she taught to listen to everyone else first? Is a child being rude by not looking the teacher in the eye, or do his cultural rules dictate that you show respect to adults by looking down?

Back in Philly, when I asked for a ticket downtown for a rush hour fare, the ticket agent still understood me. He politely handed me my ticket with a warm smile. Yes, there is more than one right way to get your point across. And the response of the other person can mean the difference between feeling welcome or uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, the snow days just increase the educational inequalities between the haves and have-nots. Many teachers in my local school district in Northern Virginia are posting assignments online via Blackboard. That’s terrific — unless the student’s only access to the Internet is through the school or public library.

Many middle-class parents find some educational activity to do with their children or they talk about school projects together while they are home together for hours on end. What about the parents who didn’t have a good education themselves and don’t know how to create a learning experience at home? Where are the resources for school projects if there are few books and no computer at home?

For many students, school lunch and breakfast are essential meals of the day. That is the way our society has chosen to feed children in the interest of both their health and their education. The impact of losing out on those meals is magnified for kids when the entire family is stuck at home. Very often, their parents are paid hourly for their work, and when snow prevents the parents from getting to work, the refrigerators are sparser than usual.

As we think about ways to keep learning going during unanticipated breaks -– from snow, or illness like H1N1, or even some type of terrorist attack -– we need to think beyond just making lessons available electronically. Maybe we have school assignments available via phone links as well as Internet. Maybe we establish mentors/teachers in communities who can be called upon for assistance. Maybe we set up a resource room in low-income apartment buildings. We need to remember “it takes a village,” particularly on a snow day.

   The teachers in the school, while dedicated to educating the children, had little expectations for the families. After all, they are poor and largely illiterate. Yet when I asked the families about their dreams, there were many.

   Unfortunately, that’s the way it is in too many schools around the globe, including the United States. Hard-working teachers feel parents don’t care if they don’t show up for parent meetings. Yet parents without formal education, or immigrants who don’t know how to traverse the complex U.S. school system, often keep their distance from their children’s school as a sign of respect. They trust their children’s education to the teachers and show their respect by not becoming involved. Parents aren’t valued for what they do know — insights on their children, a lifetime of experiences.

   As was clear with these parents in South Africa, they do care, and they care intently. Once given the opportunity to become a part of school in a project that valued them, they could see that they do have a role in school. Based on a model called Tellin’ Stories from Teaching for Change, the quilt project creates a non-threatening place for parents to gather in the school. While they are sewing, they learn about school expectations and resources both in school and in the community.

   In South Africa, I was honored to work with these incredible families in the school where my husband and I have volunteered the past two years. Over the course of the family meetings, the families learned how to support their children’s learning at home. And they became empowered to advocate for the children at school, just as many of them had fought so hard against apartheid years earlier. “We need to give you  name in Xhosa,”  said one of the parents. So I was called Nosango, or “gate” in their mother tongue. �”You have opened the gates of freedom, the gates of learning to us,”  said the parent. Certainly a moment I will never forget.

   How many families in our schools have dreams no one is asking about? How many are eager to help their children reach those dreams, but they don’t know what to do? We need family engagement outreach strategies that respect their personal experiences, their culture, their knowledge. Then we can build true partnerships with families that help out students be successful and our schools thrive.

For more about the Parent Engagement project in South Africa, please see article in Port Elizabeth Herald or www.KuglersinSouthAfrica.blogspot.com

Eileen with Principal Z.A. Thambo